


Talk Me Through This

by blue_fjords



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Fusion, Comedy, M/M, Talking
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-05-02
Updated: 2013-05-02
Packaged: 2017-12-10 03:52:28
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,442
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/781453
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/blue_fjords/pseuds/blue_fjords
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Inspired by Dylan's guest starring role as Nameless Dude on <i>The New Girl</i>.  So let's call him Stiles, and get him swept off his feet by Fireman Derek.  I'm sure there are tons of these this morning.  Mine is very tongue-in-cheek.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Talk Me Through This

"Dude, Teddy's gonna mack on your girl."

Stiles blinked up at the fireman standing over him. Short, nondescript and he smelled like dog food and gasoline.

"She wasn't my girl," he muttered. Though she could have been. Maybe. Probably not.

"You were naked with her!" The fireman gave him an eyebrow waggle – like a leer, but without the follow-through. Typical. "Or almost naked. Nice boxers, man."

"Stop pestering him, Greenberg, and load up the truck."

It was another fireman, an Adonis made flesh, as beautiful and perfect as Greenberg was blah. Stiles could write sonnets about his cheekbones, poems about his eyes, odes to his lips, limericks about his shoulders, haikus to his arms. He was writing them all right now. In his pants.

"Dog came and pissed on your jacket," Perfect Gorgeous Amazing said. "You can borrow a spare shirt."

It was the most romantic thing anyone had ever said to him, and he would have gladly followed his Fireman Sex God to the back of the truck to get a shirt only the small problem he'd had last night was no longer a problem. Or rather, it was a problem of a very different nature.

"Are you hurt?" Sunshine Blissful Orgasm asked, taking a step closer, where he'd totally see how incredibly happy Stiles was to see him. Stiles panicked and lost control of his brain to mouth filter.

"Give me a second, and I will move, faster than a speeding bullet, with grace and style, and man, I've got moves you've never seen before, believe you me!" He couldn't stop. He was the train, a great big Silver Bullet Stiles Train, and he was heading down the tracks with the brake line cut. "I will show them all to you. You want a piece of me? I've got a lot of pieces, I'm just, like falling apart, I mean I live in my jeep. Not that I don't have a place to go! I've got places. Wide open spaces. Space to make a new start," he sang. "I'm just in the jeep for right now. Until, you know, Monday. I'm getting life experience. I don't have any life experience, just this questionable sexuality orientation thing and a leather jacket covered in dog piss."

He finally ran out of steam. Unicorn Love Muffin watched him, face expressionless. Even devoid of expression, Stiles could read that look. It said, "Fuck off."

"So you hit your head and clearly have a concussion," Manly Hunky Muscles said slowly. "Someone should stay with you. For a few hours."

"Uh, about that?" Stiles started. "If I have a concussion, I should see a health professional, for starters. And I didn't bump my head. That would have been a much better story, but didn't happen."

Hotter Than Hades looked him up and down. Stiles could have sworn the guy was checking out his chest hair, but that never happened to him. Especially after verbal pyrotechnics.

"Someone should keep an eye on you," Joyful Heart's Desire said, and wow, he was practically in Stiles' lap. If he leaned six inches more, he'd be introducing himself to Little Stiles. His eyes darted down to Stiles' crotch, his lips, up to his eyes. Stiles' mouth dropped open, and Wet Dream Fantasy swallowed. Hard.

"Oh my God. Are you someone?"

"Derek."

"Awesome. I mean, Stiles."

Five minutes later, Stiles found himself in the bedroom of an apartment a block from the park. Wearing even fewer clothes now. Wearing no clothes, to be more precise. And Sexy – Derek. Derek was also naked. And sexy. And kissing his way down Stiles' chest.

Yeah, he was definitely gay.

"Talk to me," Derek said, his voice muffled by Stiles' skin and chest hair.

"I'm sorry, I don't think I caught that right. You want me to talk?" Stiles asked, yelping a bit when Derek drew a nipple in between his teeth.

"Talk," Derek commanded, licking the bit of skin he'd just turned red.

"Uhhh, okay, well, first off, I think you should know you're doing an awesome job with that. Really, really great nipple work. I never paid that much attention to them before, and that's just sad! Look at them, all perky and stuff. They were happy to see you. And meet your tongue. Which, by the way, best tongue ever. Very strong, and wet and kind of hot, honestly. Good thing, because I was outside all last night and almost naked, but not quite. Am so glad I'm naked right now. Toooooo-tally naked. Except for your body, and whoa, that tickles! In a good way. I'm feeling good. Scent of the pi-iiiiiines—oh wow. Wow! Fuck, fuck. That's—oh my God. Help yourself. Yeah. Damn. You can just take it all. Are you laughing? You're laughing! With me, not at me, right? I'm going to go with that, since you can't speak as your mouth is full. Really full, and oh my God, I can SEE me. In your cheek! Holy shit, that's hot. Ahhhhh! Ack!!! No, wait, don't stop. Do that again. With the fingers. Wow, that's cold and weird, but I'm strangely attracted to it. Keep it up. Get it? Of course you do. I'm an idiot. Don't scowl at me, I'm not an idiot. I am a Sex God, and you are my worshipful subject. Gnnnnnnnnngh, what did you just do with your tongue? Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck, the holy prostate. Mwww, aaaahhhhhhhh!"

Stiles made a sound that only dogs could hear when he came, causing Derek to choke a bit. Served him right for that blow job-fingering double action. Who does that? Derek, that's who. Just wait until Stiles did it to him. Oh, he was going to bay at the fucking moon. Like, the next time they had sex. Because right now Derek was slipping a condom on and pushing his cock into Stiles' more-than-ready-for-it body.

"Nnnngggghhh, that is awesome," Stiles breathed. His eyelids closed of their own volition as Derek steadily fucked into him.

"Stiles," Derek grunted. "Talk to me."

"Really? That's your turn-on?" Stiles opened his eyes.

"I like it," Derek said, leaning down to nuzzle Stiles' neck.

"Huh. Okay. So. This thing we're doing now? I hope you have a big-ass box of condoms, buddy, because you are going to want to take it up the ass from me. I'm going to rock your world. I am super good at the sex. You have no idea. I have references!" Derek bit his neck. "Fine, I don't have any references. But I'll write you a song and I'll make sweet, sweet love to you, and drive you around in my jeep, and make you homemade mac and cheese. And oh my God, you're really good at this. I'm seriously – look at me. I'm all hard for you. Again! What are you like? Well, I know you're hard, but outside of sex, what are you like? Are you going to tell me? Am I going to find out? I hope so. Give me a sign. Oh!"

Stiles suddenly found he couldn't speak anymore with his mouth full of Derek tongue. That was a good sign. Even better when Derek broke the kiss to pant against Stiles' jawline as he came, complete with blissed out expression on his face.

"Wow, you're beautiful," Stiles said, awed. Derek pushed himself up and bracketed Stiles in, reaching down to jack him off. It was… quick. So sue him. Stiles had lasted at least six minutes on the blow job.

"You're covered with my come," Stiles said, grinning goofily. Derek quirked an eyebrow and pulled out of him, slowly, then tied off the condom and tossed it in the trash.

"I like mac and cheese," Derek said, settling down beside Stiles on the bed. It was a big bed. Stiles hadn't noticed before.

"That's… good." Stiles wanted to reach out and touch Derek's perfect stubble, his sweaty hair. Sex sweat hair. So he did.

"You said you'd make me some."

"Wait, right now?"

"Later."

"Later. As in, you're not kicking me out."

"Nope."

Stiles looked down at Derek's chest. It was gorgeous. But also really, really gross.

"Um." Stiles bit his lip and jutted his chin at Derek's chest.

"What?"

"Oh my God, really? Isn't that all dried and tacky. Come on, dude, shower! Running water! Heat! I love showers, and here's why…"

Stiles swallowed a fair amount of tap water talking in the shower, but he really didn't mind, as he also made Derek howl. World's best shower.

And that night, Stiles slept in Derek's bed instead of the jeep. (But he still went out to visit her and pat her hood. Priorities.)

**Author's Note:**

> I have a tumblr, and I'm really terrible at it. But feel free to drop by and say hello. Here is my awesome link for my tumblr: [bluefjords](http://www.tumblr.com/blog/bluefjords).


End file.
